


Outro: Tear

by Solrey



Series: Treasure13 [5]
Category: MAGNUM (Korea Band), TREASURE (Korea Band), YG Treasure Box (TV)
Genre: Blood and Violence, Depression, Fear, Forced Relationship, Forcing, Hatred, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, M/M, Physical Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Threats of Violence, Violence, closing off, down talking, pretending to be alright, shaming, themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-05-30 20:54:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19411219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solrey/pseuds/Solrey
Summary: Junkyu and Mashiho know each other for years, just rarely apart. That changes when Mashiho gets a boyfriend. Junkyu had been in love with Mashiho all the time so he simply wishes them the best, that they are happy.However, all good things come to an end.





	Outro: Tear

**Author's Note:**

> This has been originally posted on my twitter @SolreyItIs and now its here too, enjoy

_“I can’t do this anymore.”_

The sadness in his eyes was overwhelming, so intense that his heart almost stopped, when he saw it. He wanted nothing more than to engulf the younger in a hug, pepper him with the love he deserved and kiss is salty tears away, but he couldn’t. Mashiho wasn’t _his_ – he should have stayed away but he simply couldn’t. It was Mashiho after all. 

Mashiho was the most adorable and hardworking person he had ever met, always trying to do his best and never fail to meet expectations. All while being the bubbly and happy persona he just was, making people fall for him left and right. And him. 

They had known each other since middle school and they had been glued to each other ever since. Their love for music and dancing making them bond over everything they had endured over the years and honestly, it had been tough. People trying to break them off, throwing nasty rumours around and one time, a girl had almost pushed Mashiho off the stairs because he had been too close to _him_. He never had understood her reasoning but they both had been happy that she was thrown out of school and Mashiho hadn’t been injured badly. But it came as a shock and afterwards, they were glued even closer. It had always been this way and Junkyu was content with it. So it had been an obvious decision to attend the same university and no one stopped them – because no one could. 

But something changed. _They_ changed. It changed when Mashiho had met a man in their university he had fallen for and Junkyu was sure they were deeply in love with each other, because they seemed happy, so perfect for each other. Like a picture perfect relationship. It made him sick. He hated that feeling but he couldn’t ignore it.

It was the first time since he had met Mashiho he had felt like this – _jealous._

Why he only understood it now but when he saw Mashiho with _him_ , another man, it clicked inside of his head. Junkyu finally understood why girls weren’t making him happy, why he could never agree to go on a date with one of them, his guts always telling him that he shouldn’t. It was _his_ fault, just his all along. The only person who could make him feel comfortable and happy. It had always been _Mashiho_. 

He had been in love with Mashiho all the time. How could he have been so blind to his own feelings? 

It was hard but he ignored this hot feeling in his chest, the jealousy that was eating his mind away because who was he to interfere in a happy relationship? If anything, he wanted the younger to be happy and support him in his decisions. As longs as his boyfriend treated Mashiho well, he would stay back and watch – like a good best friend would do. Junkyu had no reason to meddle with them.

Or so he had thought, everyone had thought. What the two of them made Mashiho’s friends believe. 

Their relationship wasn’t that old when Mashiho shocked them with a surprising statement – he and his boyfriend had moved in together. It felt for Junkyu like an over-night decision. He felt betrayed. Why hadn’t Mashiho talked with him about it? Not said a single word about moving together, of being so madly in love that he deemed such a drastic and sudden move important. Was his opinion not important to Mashiho anymore? It pained him to think about such a possibility. 

At first he didn’t say anything to this, accepted the fact that Mashiho tended to be more and more with his boyfriend, closing off Junkyu and their friends. He hoped Mashiho would open up to them again but he promised himself to not meddle, to wait patiently. 

Until Junkyu saw it for the first time – the _bruises_ , hidden underneath Mashiho’s t-shirt. He couldn’t believe his eyes. It had happened so fast, Mashiho immediately pulling the edges down but Junkyu wasn’t able to forget it. His thoughts running miles. The image burned in his mind, the sickening picture of dark purple bruises around his arm, just barely out of view. Had they been _always_ there?

He should have said something that day, ask him where they came from, what exactly happened but he was simply not able to, his throat suddenly dry, swallowing all words before they could leave his mouth. His palms sweating, his heart beating faster than normal. How had he been able to send Mashiho off that day? 

Junkyu couldn’t sleep at night, his thoughts constantly coming back to the haunting image; he tossed and turned but it didn’t help. His heart heavy, a nagging feeling slowly creeping up his sleepy mind. 

Had it been an accident? Nothing he should think about too much? Maybe they had a fight and it ended in them fighting non-verbally? Junkyu wasn’t sure what thought of his he should believe because _none_ should be an option, it worried him deeply. 

However, he was afraid of confronting his best friend because if the younger didn’t want to talk about it, he shouldn’t push it. He would come to him when he needed him. Junkyu was sure of it. So he let the topic drop, he only overserved Mashiho closer now, trying to see if one of his thoughts was correct but there was nothing. Not a single clue that what Junkyu had seen was correct and he was slowly thinking that he had made that up, his jealous mind creating hatred for the boyfriend just because he was also in _love_ with Mashiho.

Until one day. Mashiho didn’t show up to classes without telling him. That was so unlike Mashiho. He couldn’t reach the younger. His messages weren’t answered. His calls ignored. 

Junkyu had never been so worried before. 

If Mashiho wouldn’t show up after three days, he would make his way to Mashiho’s shared apartment and ask his boyfriend what was up. He would ask him on the campus but he barely saw the boyfriend, he seemed to always stay away from them for whatever reason. 

On the third day, Mashiho came to university. The moment he had received Mashiho’s text that he would come to university again, his fear that something had happened to Mashiho disappeared, only to resurface the moment his eyes recognized his best friend. The light of his life.

_Limping._

The younger was limping awfully. 

Barely able to walk, he slowly came closer to Junkyu, trying to smile. It was bittersweet. Their reunion after three days. Junkyu’s heart broke into small pieces, his eyes tearing up at the person he once called a bubbly and happy person. The Mashiho that came closer and closer wasn’t there anymore, at least not at the moment, another side of the younger had took over. His eyes were swollen, red, puffy. The love of his life had cried terribly and he hadn’t known, wasn’t there when he had needed _him_ , needed _his_ help. 

Without saying anything, he took the younger piggyback, leaving the main area of the university to a place less crowded. 

That had been the first day they had ever a serious conversation about Mashiho’s relationship. 

_Relationship._

Just the thought of it made his blood boil. He was so angry, pissed, he wanted nothing more than to snap someone’s neck. _His_ neck. Mashiho hadn’t done anything to receive such treatment, to be mistreated like that. 

When he heard what was actually going on behind closed curtains, he felt feelings he hadn’t known existed. 

He was hitting him, punching him, kicking him. Taking out his anger on a person so precious that you feared he would break. Mashiho did. The younger had no longer control over his life, his existence a play figure in the palm of his boyfriend. Nothing more, nothing less. 

He was in control over Mashiho, not only physical but also emotional. 

Mashiho wasn’t in love anymore with his boyfriend, had lost the love he had once felt, gone for a while already but Mashiho was forced to stay. 

They skipped their lessons so they could talk. Mashiho talking, Junkyu listening. Mashiho crying, Junkyu getting angry. When the first tear left Junkyu’s eyes, Mashiho asked him why he was crying but Junkyu couldn’t stop. The thought about everything the younger had to endure broke him that day. He promised the younger to stay by his side, to help whenever he could and help him getting out of this. 

Junkyu had wanted to call the police immediately but Mashiho hadn’t wanted it, stopping him. Mashiho promised that he would find a way out of it, without informing the police. Junkyu had wanted nothing more than to believe him. So he did nothing, just staying at his side. Their secret meetings kept going afterwards, becoming a routine. 

All the time they had drifted apart was as if it never had happened, they became close again fast, closer than they had ever been. Leaning on each other more and more. 

That was until the day Mashiho broke a wall that wasn’t supposed to be broken – he _kissed_ Junkyu. It wasn’t short nor was it innocent. The way Mashiho converted all his love he had lost, all the pain and longing in just one kiss overwhelmed Junkyu. He kissed back. Pushing the younger even closer, chasing his lips with his own. It felt so wrong but oh so right at the same time, as if they had never done anything else than kiss each other. The love he felt Mashiho welling up again, threatening to drown him but he was willed to take the risk. 

They were shy afterward, awkward, because Mashiho had crossed the line of friendship while Junkyu let himself be kissed by someone who was still taken. A day to remember honestly, a day he had never thought would come because Mashiho actually confessed to him. Confessed that he had been in love for a while but had given up when they graduated high school. That was the reason he had dated his boyfriend, because he tried to forget his feelings for Junkyu. He felt, knowing that he had started this all because he used his boyfriend to forget Junkyu but he wasn’t able to – the love he had felt for his boyfriend not strong enough. His boyfriend knew that too, so he made him forcefully stay. 

Mashiho talked like a wall broke, he wasn’t stopping and Junkyu saw the tears in the other’s eyes. Junkyu took him in his arms, softly stroked his back, kissing his temple with such care that Mashiho deflated in his arms. They knew this was more, deeper and they both wanted this. Mashiho’s hot tears sipping through Junkyu’s shirt but he ignored it, pulling his baby even closer, telling him over and over again how much he loves him, cherished him above all. 

They had fallen in love, lost each other on the way only to find together again, even stronger, a string connecting them. They had finally found each other. 

“I can’t do this anymore!” 

Mashiho had said this sentence a lot, sometimes quietly to himself but most of the time loudly to him, so Junkyu was able to hear him. It was like a silent yet loud cry for help and Junkyu wasn’t sure what to do. On the one hand Mashiho had clearly said he shouldn’t interfere but on the other he was quietly reaching out for help. He should have taken the younger’s hand when Mashiho tried to reach for him but he had been afraid, overwhelmed with the whole situation.

How do you escape such a situation probably without making things worse? Junkyu struggled. He struggled very hard. Mashiho’s safety was his top priority but he felt chained down, unable to move because he feared with every wrong move he would lose the love of his life. It wasn’t his brightest choice and he knew, but he felt so incredible powerless. 

The days they spend together afterwards became a like treasure to him, something way more expansive than any other thing in his life. For the first time in months he saw the younger genuinely laugh again, his smile finally reaching his eyes again and a part of Junkyu tried to overshadow what lied behind it. They spent more and more time together, more than usual and more ever since Mashiho had found a boyfriend, Junkyu didn’t complain whatsoever. 

In dark corners, behind walls, inside Junkyu’s home, in the toilet, under the table, behind bookshelf’s – it didn’t matter to them, they stole glances, kisses, touches from each other and it felt like a sin, not forgetting that Mashiho was still taken. Whenever he had the opportunity to feel the younger’s skin touching his, he felt a desire in him that you probably could only feel if you really loved someone. The goose bumps that creeped up whenever he heard Mashiho call for him. How happiness welled up inside of him when their eyes met. How lost he felt when Mashiho was suggestive. The way the younger’s heart beat made him feel at peace, like he found his home. Maybe it was simple, almost childish how he held onto these feelings but it made his heart race, his existents brighten up. 

Mashiho made his heart race. There was no denying in that. To face the reality, he tried so hard to forget was painful, it was always there, in the back of his mind, in the corner of his eyes. Days, where Mashiho declined to hug him, days where he hated to be touched, days where he had been forced to do things he didn’t like and all that Junkyu did was watching. Watched how bruises appeared, scars formed, eyes became puffy from crying. How the life that had appeared in Mashiho was once more dimming down, getting smaller and smaller. Where was he when Mashiho had needed him the most? 

Junkyu tried to talk about it, tried to talk with Mashiho how they could get the younger out of it but the younger blocked every attempt. One of these conversations had lead them to a topic Junkyu would rather not discuss but he stayed silent and listened. The hints Mashiho dropped made him cry later at night, the feeling of guilt washing over him, the feeling of incapability shooting through his body. That day had been the first time Junkyu thought Mashiho wouldn’t hold out much longer. Something was pulling the younger away and deep inside of his heart he knew what it was. 

They had been good at hiding their secret relationship for weeks, no one knew or so they had thought. Until one day one of his friends came to him, asking him if it was true that Mashiho was cheating with him on his boyfriend. Perplex he didn’t know what to say, stumbling over his words before looking at his friend. He told Yedam everything, rambling about everything that had happened the last months, how hard it was for him but how it was even harder for Mashiho. Confessed what they had done. Junkyu felt bad, guiltier with every word because he spilled the secret, not only exposing their relationship but also the state his boyfriend was in. At the same time his heart felt less heavy, finally able to breath properly again. 

Yedam didn’t judged them, understanding that the situation they were in was problematic, not to say very difficult and offered his help to them. Junkyu was glad he had found such a great friend in Yedam, his words comforted him. However, it didn’t erase the rumours that spread like a wildfire throughout the university. Suddenly everybody knew about them, what they supposedly did and how dirty they were. These people apparently knew their situation better than they did. It was hard. Hard to deny that he was actually together with the younger, hard to deny that they actually cheated but even harder to deny that it wasn’t affecting him. Junkyu was close to a breakdown when he saw Mashiho, looking broken at him. 

Whatever he had heard, had shattered something inside him. Something that had he had hold onto for so long Junkyu was sure, couldn’t be repaired just as easy as it was shattered. They didn’t talk much, kept their distance but both of them knew that something was approaching, a storm the both of them couldn’t escape. 

They had walked until the usual crossroad, just sadly smiled at each other with a promise in their eyes that it would become better before they parted. Junkyu stood there for a while, watching the back of the love of his life disappear, moving when he saw how Mashiho vanished in the crowd. Junkyu was on the way to a café, where he would meet Yedam and their other friends as suggested by Yedam to find a solution. 

They stayed at the café for a while when Junkyu was brought out of their serious conversation, his phone ringing. With hesitant eyes he looked at his phone, feeling his whole body clenching. The uneasy feeling that washed over him was painful, something in his guts telling him that this wasn’t good. With shaky hands he tipped the green button, his friends looking at him with worry.

“Mashi?” He asks carefully.

Mashiho was crying, he seemed in so much pain, his voice shaking dangerously. His voice felt so weak, so hoarse, empty. The worry Junkyu immediately felt made him sick, a fear struck through his mind he didn’t want to think about. He knew it would have come to this sooner or later but it still hit him hard. There way the younger said it, there was no denying anymore.

“I’m sorry, Kyu, I’m so sorry.”

The line went dead afterwards and Junkyu’s heart stopped. Why was Mashiho apologizing to him when everything Junkyu had done was nothing. His hand gripped the smartphone hard in his hand, holding onto it as if he could hold Mashiho with it but he couldn’t. Just this moment Mashiho was on the way slip out of his life, disappear as if it was the perfect solution. Junkyu slowly lowered his phone, glancing at his friends and the way they looked at him, everybody knew what was up. They would lose Mashiho to the time, lose him if they stayed here any longer. 

He would attempt suicide. 

Junkyu felt how tears ran down his cheeks but he didn’t care, he only cared for one thing; brining his love safely back. Junkyu and Mashiho had promised to not tell people without informing the other but he couldn’t keep this promise because he knew, he could only safe him if he got every possible help. Right now, he was so incredible thankful that Yedam had spoken to him and made him open up about their problems. Junkyu needed their help, he felt so lost. The feeling of losing Mashiho for ever clouded his mind.

Without their help, he had a feeling that he would never be able to find his boyfriend. To find Mashiho before he would do something stupid. Splitting in groups, they started to search around the city for him, hoping they would find him at one of their usual places. They hoped this way they could find him faster, preventing what was going to happen.

He couldn’t lose him, not after all of this. Shouldn’t he be the person who knows him the best? Even though he had known that suicide had been an option Mashiho had thought about, a part of him always believed the younger would never leave him. Oh, how could have he been so dumb and foolish to believe his naïve thoughts? Wishes? His heart ached at the questions while he ran over the streets, looking left and right, bumping into people. Junkyu felt guilty, so freaking guilty. He wanted nothing more than to yell out all the pain and frustration he had collected but he couldn’t, his feet carrying him already to the next place. His mind was a mess but his heart was still on the right track, remembering why he was running in the first place. He couldn’t break down just yet, he had a goal. Mashiho needed him. Junkyu had no right to break down now, not when another’s life was on the line.

What had the love of his life done to live such a life? 

In his mind he promised Mashiho that he would build him up again, carry him if necessary and show him that there can be a relationship without force, physical pain or emotional wounds. 

_  
Mashiho had been home on point today, like he always is, ever since his boyfriend had ordered him to do so. Not that he could do much about it. The rumours that had spread throw his university made him anxious, what if his boyfriend had heard about them? What would he do to him? To them? Images of possible outcomes running through his mind._

_He shuddered at the thought and placed his bag down, slipping out of his jacket and shoes to put them in their places. He decided where everything needed to be. His voice lacking any warmth. Mashiho had begun to hate his voice, how it sounded as soon as it left his lips._

_With his usual, forced voice, he greeted his boyfriend, telling him that he was home while carefully walking over to the kitchen to drink. His throat felt dry._

_His feet stopped when he saw his boyfriend sitting casually on a chair, leaned back while keeping an eye on the door, holding something._

_A knife._

_Mashiho gulped and tried to smile, to ease the others mood but the gaze he received was ice cold, colder than anything he had ever received from him. He knew immediately that he had fucked up. There was no way the madness in his eyes would be so intense when he hadn’t done anything. Did he-? Yes, his boyfriend knew, had heard of the rumours. How could Mashiho had been so foolish to believe he wouldn’t notice?_

_The words leaving his boyfriend’s mouth made him shiver, panic beginning to rise._

_“I hope you know that I know.” He stopped, a smirk on his lips. “I know that you have someone beside me, baby. Don’t even deny it sweetheart. The rumours are everywhere.”_

_The knife twirled in his hands, reflecting the evening sun and Mashiho’s palms where sweaty all of the sudden. He felt how his heart started to race. He knew. Most probably everything. How could he not?_

_“How is he? Better than me?” His boyfriend began to lean forward, his gaze staying on him. “Tell me baby, how does he do it? What does he say to make you a hoe? Make you come for him over and over again? Cheating, you know, isn’t the fine way of a gentleman.”_

_Mashiho wanted to run, turn around and never come back but he couldn’t, his feet glued to the ground. The words felt like shot through his heart, the truth he had wanted to run away from coming after him, chasing him, pulling him down._

_“He fucked you, didn’t he? I bet he did, you little slut. You can’t stop you hoeing around, can you. I am the only one who is allowed to touch you, am I clear? You belong to me. You are mine. I need to punish you for this baby.” He liked his lips, the smirk on lips making Mashiho feel uneasy. Mashiho’s hand immediately feeling for his left wrist, feeling the skin full of scars underneath._

_“Remember the last time I punished you? I remember it. The way you cried, calling my name so desperately had turned me on so much, it turns me on even now. But I think the rope had been to lose, don’t you think? I will tighten it this time.” The smirk got wider only to disappear completely. “I fucked you properly, can he do it like I did? Huh. Tell my sweetheart.”_

_He wanted to yell at him that Junkyu was better in every aspect, that he was loved and cherished by him but the words wouldn’t leave his mouth, panic taking over his mind. The last time he had been ‘punished’ he was unable to walk for two days, his whole body in unbearable pain. He remembered the sound of his own cry so vividly, the feeling how the rope hat cut into his skin, how the teeth of his boyfriend had bitten him so much he had bleed - The thought made him sick._

_Mashiho had never wanted any of this, so why was this happening?_

_What had he done to this human to deserve such punishment?_

_“I- “He tried but was cut off immediately._

_“Listen Mashiho. I repeat myself just one more time, okay? You are mine and mine only. I don’t share and I especially don’t like it when someone touches what’s mine.”_

_Mashiho felt how tears welled up in his eyes at these words, knew where these words where leading him but he hoped to be wrong, so so wrong. He should have left him, left everything before it became out of hand. Why was he such an idiot?_

_“I think I should do measurements against this. I have already taken the first counter measurements against him. Because I was the one who spread these rumours’.” His Boyfriend smiled a sweet, almost innocent smile Mashiho hadn’t seen in a while, a smile that had made him believe this man so easily. The words cut through his heart like the knife his boyfriend was holding because if He was the one who spread the rumours, he had to have known for a while. Mashiho felt sick. He had watched them probably more than once, he knew what they had done, he was only playing with the two. He had them in their palms like figurines you use to play chess, knowing exactly how to move them._

_“Your little affair needs to go far away, where he doesn’t bother us anymore. I won’t allow him to lead you down the wrong path baby, I need to protect you. His filthy hands on your body, how could you allow him to do that? I’m so disappointed.”_

_He wanted to close his eyes, make everything disappear, finally soothing his pain but he couldn’t. His hands trembled, tears ran silently down his cheeks. Mashiho had asked himself so many times why he was still alive, why his boyfriend hasn’t lost control just yet. Why it wasn’t ending already, this hellish nightmare he can’t seem to wake up from. He just wanted to let go, to be finally free._

_“Do you love him?”_

_“Yes.”_

_It was a simple word, as simple as his mind. A mistake. He was once again reminded why he hadn’t died until now when the knife flew into his direction, missing him only about a few centimetres where it stuck in the doorframe to his left. That he missed wasn’t a coincidence. With his boyfriend there were no coincidences. His boyfriend made no mistakes when it came to him._

_Mashiho was unable to look at the knife, sickening memories welling up inside of him at the thought what he would do with him, what he would use that knife for. How he could use it yet again against him, the tip of the knife inching closer to his skin-_

_“The only one you should love is me.”_

_He was angry, his voice filled with hatred Mashiho knew was meant for him. Maybe it was over now. Maybe he could finally be the queen that was threatened to lose the game, checkmate._

_“I need to kill Kim Junkyu.”_

_The blood in his veins froze, his heart stopped for a moment. The only thought he could get together was that Junkyu would get hurt because of him. Because he had been a coward to not end it when he had the chances too. Hadn’t escaped the prison he was in when he still had a chance to run away, to ask for help. When he had so many chances to step out of everyone’s lives, making everything so much easier. Junkyu couldn’t get hurt, no way, he wouldn’t let that happen. His love didn’t do anything wrong, in the end it was all his fault._

_“No!”_

_He cried out, turning around and running out of the apartment. No shoes, no jacket, he had no thought left for unimportant things like these. It felt like his mind went into autopilot, his mind had played out this possible scenario out so many times that it knew blind what to do next._

_Mashiho needed to be ahead of his boyfriend, protecting Junkyu at all cost and he could only think of one way: take away the reason why he wanted to harm Junkyu in the first place. He needed to end this already, it had gone on for too long. There was no escape, no safety – he had dug his own grave. The yelling of his boyfriend made it to his hears but he didn’t care, didn’t listen, his feet carrying him down the stairs through the door of the building. The hot warm air punched him in the face but he ignored it, running the familiar path. The only path he could trust in. The only path that would lead him to freedom._

_He ran over the streets without looking – it didn’t matter if a car would hit him._

_He ran into people without apologizing – they would forget him anyway._

_No one would remember his tears, remember the pain he felt._

_He was not worth a memory._

_He was not worth the pain he had caused others._

_His heart ached, his feet protested, his lungs screamed at him to stop but he couldn’t, we wouldn’t._

_Mashiho took out his phone that had been in his pocket, running over yet another street while calling the very first number he saw. He wanted to hear his voice one last time. Just once._

Tears streamed down his face while he ran down the streets, exactly knowing where Mashiho was escaping to. A place they had called their hideout ever since they had been in middle school. A secret place on the nearest mountain, a glade not many know off, well-hidden deep in the forest. Even if someone knew about that place, it was highly unlikely that they would be there today, to stop him. 

The pain he felt with every step was breath taking, both his body and his mind screaming at him to stop but he wouldn’t, Junkyu would keep going – for him, for them. Never had he felt more useless in his life before, unable to change nor help at all. 

Everything he wanted seemed to slip out of his grip, like water dripping down his fingers when he tries to hold it, never willed to stay at one place for long. Always finding a way to vanish. 

Was this how it felt when your life suddenly felt empty, without importance because you just know there is something missing?

No, he shouldn’t think like that, Junkyu should keep going and change something for the first time. Fight for something he knows it is worth fighting for. 

He ran over streets, around cars and dodged bicycles with just one goal in his mind, this one place. It came into view, the entrance to the forest and Junkyu stopped shortly at the entrance to catch his breath, once more calling Mashiho’s phone.

He didn’t answer.

Panic rose inside of him, the thought of being too late floating his mind. No, no, no! He couldn’t be too late, no way. 

Pulling himself together he started to run again, following the path he knows so well, a path he had walked so many times before but today it was different. Oh, how he wished it hadn’t come to this. 

He stepped on branches, pushed bushes and broke flowers but today he had no thought left over for the beauty around him. Just a few more steps, he preached, knowing that he was almost there.

Please, be safe, Mashiho! He said these words like a mantra, hoping for the best, hoping he was on time.

And, there he was. 

Junkyu was so fast that he almost fell because of a root at his feet, barely catching himself while never tearing his gaze away. His attention completely on what was important.

Mashiho. 

The younger stood there, a few steps away from the edge, under him the wide forest. It was a dangerous place, when you fall there, you don’t know how deep you actually fall and how you can get out. The forest there was thick, the place beneath not visible. The place had no fences, just warnings at the entrance to not go in to far, the forest too dangerous to wander around. 

Just a few steps further and Mashiho was almost in his grasp. 

Junkyu froze in place, his feet glued to the ground, his eyes not capable of seeing anything else than Mashiho’s back. The younger stared at the forest beneath him for a while, not noticing Junkyu who was unable to say a word. 

That was until Mashiho took a step forward, then another one and Junkyu was finally released from his trance.

“Mashiho!” 

He cried out, running after the love of life, his lover and best friend, the only person he had ever loved. The only person his heart had ever beaten for. 

Shocked, Mashiho turned around, seeing him coming closer, slowly taking steps backwards while Junkyu came closer and closer. Tears flowed down his cheeks, his puffy red eyes holding so many emotions, Junkyu was terrified. Mashiho was so close to him but he felt so far away at the same time, everything around them feeling like it was in slow motion. 

The younger took another step backwards and another, now dangerously close to the edge, almost falling down. 

“Sayonara.” 

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you, Mashiho.”

A cold voice, leaking any warmth echoed through the quiet place. 

He saw how fear lit up in Mashiho’s eyes at these words, spoken behind his back, and before Junkyu was able to react, his arm was suddenly twisted with such a force he winced, grimacing at the pain that shot through his body. Something cold met his throat, pressing against his skin, his mind not understanding what was going on. 

“You should step away from that edge my little half-moon, or do you want me to do something really bad?” 

Even through all the pain inflicted to him, a sharp pain controlling his body, Junkyu forced himself to think, to understand what exactly was happening. The man behind him was taller, bulkier and by far stronger than he was, the deadly grip on his arm saying enough. _Mashiho’s boyfriend? How?_ It was the first time he felt how strong Mashiho’s boyfriend actually was, what strength Mashiho had to endure all the time. It was a sickening feeling. How this man had him in his hand – quiet literally – and pushed against the taller’s chest, unable to move because the object at his throat would cut him if he tried. _Cut? Wait-_

A knife. A freaking knife was pressed against his bare throat. The tip starting to dig into his skin. 

For a moment Junkyu thought the world around him turned black from the sudden fear he felt, his heart beating at the thought of the knife piercing his skin, his blood rushing in his ears. He swallowed hard, trying to focus on something else than the knife, something with enough power to capture his attention; his eye finding the one’s of his love. The very fear the younger felt made him shake, wanting nothing more than to finally wake up from this nightmare. His doe eyes blown wide, laced with fear and panic, not getting a word out – when would Mashiho be happy again?

“Come here, you know exactly that you won’t jump until I say so. We both know.” A sickening laugh was heard behind Junkyu and he tried to not curse out, feeling how the knife pressed even harder against his skin. This man would cut him, he was sure.  
“Do you remember what I did with this knife? This beautiful knife, shining with your blood? How beautiful it was painted with your blood, mesmerizing. Soon the blood of this filthy thing will cover it if you don’t listen and we both know you don’t want that.

"Come here, Mashiho. Come to me.” 

Junkyu tried to move not too much while watching his love complementing on what do to next, what outcome of all this was most expected one. Mashiho wasn’t dumb, his mind already calculating what the obvious answer would be but this wasn’t a moment where the younger could stay rational, neither he could, both minds fogged with fear. Junkyu knew that. Mashiho’s decision wouldn’t be a wise one. His own wouldn’t be any better. 

“If you come here now, I won’t harm the two of you. I forgive you your little affair with this filthy rat and we start living our life again. How does this sound? It’s a good offer isn’t it?”

_Lies_. He would kill the both of them, Junkyu knew it. This man wasn’t one you could trust in, he would backstab you at every given chance. His words where manipulative and Junkyu hated it how much this voice had control over _his_ boyfriend, made the younger actually think about these words filled with lies. Had this man’s words always been so manipulative and fake? How had he not noticed the fake undertone of the older, this forced smile, the hatred so very vivid in the taller’s eyes. 

He wanted to yell out, tell his boyfriend that he should run away; away from the edge, away from the both of them without turning back, not caring what would happen to him but he couldn’t, to afraid that the knife would actually cut him if he spoke. But would he really care? Was this fear actually for his own situation? No. Junkyu didn’t feared for his own life. If he could safe Mashiho once and for all from this nightmare, he would endure a cut, endure a wound. He was an idiot but he would gladly run – quiet literally – into the knife for the younger if it saved him. 

“My half-moon, I would be able to fill up my empty heart with you at my side, you make me complete.” The voice behind him was sickening sweet, so fake Junkyu knew the man behind him was smiling and he wanted to whip it off of his face in a not so nice way. “So come here? I swear I will get better. I change myself for you.” 

Lies. Everything that comes out of this man’s mouth where lies. Why was Mashiho even falling for this lies? Couldn’t he see the monster that was just behind him? Couldn’t differ the wrong from the right?

Mashiho weakly started to walk again – away from the edge, coming closer, just slowly but still, his steps carefully taken. Their eyes where still locked with each other and without a doubt he knew the younger’s plan. This stupid plan. He would take all the pain on him so Junkyu would be able to run, to escape him, escape his _boyfriend_. The young Japanese knew exactly what kind of monster held him captive, knew what he would need to endure if he walked right back into these arms. There was no future left, no freedom if he really chose to go back, abandoning his original plan. 

Mashiho just had wanted to sacrifice himself, now he tried it _again_. In a different way, same outcome. He couldn’t let that happen. Mashiho should finally live again; laugh freely, cry when he is sad, embrace the life he was given. 

“Yes, come here. I love you so much.”

“Lies.” 

Junkyu felt how the man behind him tightened his grip, growling at him, his breath so close to his neck but at this moment he didn’t fear him anymore. What was there to fear anyway? This man had inflicted horrible pain to the love of his life, this pain was nothing compared to it, compared to what damage the older had done to Mashiho. He looked at Mashiho one last time before he made up his mind. 

It needed to end now.

“What did you say, you filthy rat? Huh? Answer me you pig.” 

“I said: keep your dirty hands off of my boyfriend and die in a ditch you asshole.” 

His free hand shot up, griping the hand that pointed the knife at his throat and pulled it away with such a force, the man behind him yelped in surprise, stumbling into him. Junkyu threw his head backwards, head-butting the man behind him with enough strength to make the taller groan, letting go of his other arm. He stumbled a few feet forwards before he turned around, just barely enough to see the man coming at him, his eyes furious. _Hatred_. Junkyu’s eyes probably portraying the same. 

Without thinking about the consequences he stood up against the monster he chose to fight, his hands trying to hold the other’s arms away from his body. Defending a punch with his arm, countering one with his fist meeting the other’s jaw. All of his senses where dull, only focusing on the one real task at hand – surviving, saving. His fight instinct awoke inside of him, the hatred he felt taking him fully over. Junkyu saw red. 

Sharp pain ran through his body when a knee hit his stomach, cutting of his breathing for a second before he was thrown to the ground by strong arms, his back forcefully meeting the cold hard ground. He groaned, his head bumping painfully on the ground and it started to spin inside of his head but he had no time to dwell in this, a knife coming down on him. 

Junkyu’s head lulled to the side in the last second, barely dodged the sharp blade, his cheek now decorated with a long cut, blood sipping out of it while the knife was pushed into the ground. Without giving his attacker a chance to react, Junkyu kicked the other in the stomach while his hand made contact with the other’s face. Read liquid was all over Junkyu’s hand, the taller’s lips busted open and his body arched in pain but the glint in these eyes told Junkyu everything, he wasn’t finished yet. Mashiho’s boyfriend wasn’t finished with him. 

Neither of them recognized Mashiho screaming at them in the background, pleading them to stop it. Both of them to focused on the fight. 

With an irritating laugh, the older fell onto Junkyu, burying him under his weight. Surprised at the sudden move, Junkyu gasped for air, the heavy body on him cutting of his air. Now face to face, Junkyu saw the other smile at him, innocently before it became a sickening smirk. 

“I’ll end you now.” 

A laugh escaped his mouth even though his ribcage screamed at him to breath, to suck in as much air as possible. End him? Never. 

Junkyu saw how the older was irritated at his laugh, his grey hair falling into his eyes. How he wished he could have eye contact with the man that called himself Mashiho’s boyfriend and show him all the hatred he felt, the disgust he was in him. 

The man on him lifted himself up, his head tilted lightly and Junkyu could only laugh again at this man, this disgusting man. The older seemed to be fuming with anger, his brows knitted ever so tightly. Junkyu yelped when the grey haired man sat himself on him, his hands closing around his neck. Shocked he looked up at the man that was strangling him, his breathing getting faster. With all his power he tried to pry the man off of him, kicking and punching the man on top of him. All he heard was the blood rushing in his ear and the sweet mumbling of the taller, telling him to die already. 

Junkyu felt how breathing got more difficult with every passing second, his body slowly losing its power to fight back. Was this it? Would he actually die at the hands of this monster? Maybe it was-

_“Junkyu!”_

A pained cry made its way to his ears. _Ah_ , he thought, _I can’t die here._

The smirk that was plastered all over the man’s face hovering over him disappeared and for a moment he looked at away, looked at Mashiho. Junkyu’s movements stopped, he stopped fighting back. Clearly satisfied with Junkyu’s reaction the man on top of him turned to him again, victory written all over his face. 

Until it scrunched in agony, a pained cry coming out of the taller’s mouth. The hands around his neck disappeared and Junkyu used that opening to push the body away from him, weakly sitting up. Blood threw the older’s way when Junkyu pointed at him, in his hand the knife he had just used a second ago, tainted in a vibrant red. He had stabbed the older in the side, right into the stomach. Shaking with adrenaline, he gasped for air, finally breathing freely again. His mind slowly getting back on track, not forgetting that hurting the beast wasn’t enough to end him. This wasn’t over yet. 

Suddenly he was pushed forward a little, shaking arms closing around his frame, a face pressed into his back. Gulping, he felt how Mashiho cried onto his back, mumbling incoherent words. Strangely affected by the man he loved, his hand begun to shake visibly while still pointing the knife at the other, eyeing him with disgust. His breathing was still shaky when he saw how the older held his side, the shirt slowly turning red at the side. Their eyes meeting.

The grey haired man laughed like a maniac.

“Wow Junkyu, I didn’t know you had it in you to harm someone. I underestimated you.” 

The exhausting washed over him with such a force, he was dizzy. Fighting, barely able to breath, costed him so much energy. But he smiled. He laughed, even if it was just small, he felt how the arms around him grabbed him closer. 

“No- no matter wh-what you will do to me,” Junkyu breathed out, his head feeling dizzy, “I win.” 

“What?” 

“Mashiho will always- “he stopped, his free hand going up to his head to ease the forming headache, “always choose me. It will always be me in- in the end.” 

He felt how his body got heavy, his eyelids slowly closing from the exhaustion. His adrenaline push was over, his body arching in pain, fighting back everything what it had to endure. The shock from actually stabbing someone coming back, seeing the red dripping down from the blade making him sick. He wanted nothing more than to sleep, to finally get out of the nightmare. His body got heavier, falling forwards a little, kept holding up by the arms around his torso. 

“I win.” 

The last thing he was able to hear was a very familiar voice yelling before everything around him turned black, his body shutting of his mind. 

When he first woke up, he was irritated, confused on where he was, why a white wall was staring back at him. He tried to move but his body didn’t let him, pain spreading through it with every movement. Only his head was strangely fine, it hurt but it was bearably. Still, confused on where he was her moved his head to the side, flinching in surprise when he saw a body next to him, closely attached to his own one. 

_Mashiho._

He felt how tears welled up in his eyes, the memories flooding his mind and he couldn’t help but cry, letting the tears out finally. The man he loved was lying next to him, sleeping soundly. Was this heaven?

He was later informed; no this wasn’t heaven but a hospital he had been taken too. The voice he had heard yelling had been none others than Yedam’s. Junkyu had send his locating to his friends before he had confronted Mashiho just to make sure, telling them they should come. Apparently that had not only saved them from yet another attack – he hadn’t seen since his mind had shut him off – but also bringing them out of that forsaken forest. Mashiho was safe, hadn’t left his side ever since. The police had come to the part of the forest, their friends keeping that monster there and he was taken into custody immediately, his crimes being investigated. Yedam later told him that the police said he will probably be let off the hook for hurting the taller since it had been self-defence. Mashiho had been allowed to stay with him in the hospital after a check-up, the policy psychologist saying it would lessen the damage Mashiho’s mental state had taken. Junkyu could only agree.

However, he was shaking like a leaf in the wind when he thought about what he had done; he had actually stabbed someone. He felt sick only thinking about it, it wasn’t surprising him that his body had knocked him out. The nurses had told him he had actually taken more damage than his mind had picked up, the adrenaline covering the pain. His head had been bleeding, his rib had been sprained the same way like his ankle. The chocking had also almost killed him apparently. For that, he got out better than he had wished. 

It would take to get over it. It would need a lot of help, time and love to overcome this, but it would take even more time to build up Mashiho again. So in a way it wold never end, this would forever haunt them. But they had each other, they would go through this together. 

What he only learns later are the last words the _ex_ -boyfriend had send his way. 

_“It’s not over yet.”_


End file.
